And That's Enough
by limitlesswriting
Summary: It's Christmas Eve, and Jude and Tommy are in the studio for the first time in years. Apologies are long overdue, and some things still need to be said. Oneshot. REFORMATTED


_Disclaimer: I don't own any songs used, nor do I own Instant Star. Don't sue me, I'm poor._

**And That's Enough**

Tommy stared through the glass, watching the gorgeous blonde on the other side. Her eyes closed, she poured her heart into the song. He closed his eyes as well, letting her voice take him back to the first time they'd recorded that song nearly eight years earlier.

Ten years had passed since he'd first met Jude, and after everything that happened, he'd never thought they'd be back here again, recording an album of her greatest hits. Darius had decided that he wanted a New Year's Eve release party, so they worked hard in the deserted studios, only hours away from midnight on Christmas Eve.

It was supposed to be some PR stunt—Tom Quincy and Jude Harrison, the original team, back together again after all these years. They hadn't worked together since her second album, everything had fallen apart then. Tommy left the night of her release party, and when he came back, it was never the same. Jude didn't give him another chance—he'd lost them all over the two years they'd danced around defining their relationship. He'd finally broken her heart completely, and she wasn't giving it back to him just as it had begun to heal.

Months full of awkward moments and deafening silences passed—unsure of how to act around the other now that whatever they had was over. Kwest had taken over production of Jude's albums, and Tommy spent his time working with Patsy and SME on their albums.

After a year, Tommy couldn't take it anymore. Everything at G-Major reminded him of Jude. He couldn't be around her without remembering everything they'd had—everything he'd lost. He accepted a producing job at one of Darius's New York based labels, the transfer contingent on him releasing a solo album of his own. It had been a mild success, producing a few top ten singles, peaking out at number 15 on the Canadian charts.

It was a personal effort for him, he wasn't in it for the sales or the money. It was filled with his feelings, songs he'd written while he worked with Jude, while he was away from her, and in the year after it had all come crashing down around him.

After that record, he decided that he belonged behind the controls, directing his artists, instead of putting himself on display. Some of his decision was because he knew Jude had heard it—all of his apologies, all of his regrets—and she never said anything to him—she didn't even show up to his release party. The final blow was when he heard from Kwest she'd met someone new after he'd left, and they were well on their way to marriage.

_Freeze frame, I'm not about to cry  
It's too late for us to change, why try_

Jude sang the bittersweet lyrics, thinking how ironic it was that it had all turned out this way, and that she was here, singing for Tommy. It was surreal actually, looking at him bent over the soundboard, eyes closed as he sat deep in though, bobbing his head subconsciously to the music.

So much had happened since they'd been here last, but it all seemed the same. Somehow when she was around Tom Quincy, she was transported back to her gawky fifteen year old self, completely aware of every mistake and misstep she made.

Somewhere along the way, she'd given up on him—he'd hurt her far too much, and she realized it was time to move on. She'd missed working with him—her third and fourth albums weren't complete failures, but she and Kwest just didn't have that spark—that ability to make a number one album.

When she got the invitation to Tommy's album release party, she almost went. She had so wanted him to do this, had wanted to be there for him—to help him when he finally decided. But her pride kept her from going that night—from going to him. It just seemed like every wall she had worked to build, every defense she had to keep him out, would have shattered the moment she saw him again. She missed him—missed his advice, his support—but she couldn't let him hurt her again.

Instead of going to his release party that New Year's, she tagged along with Sadie to an office party. Sadie had fulfilled her dream of becoming a lawyer, and was now working at one of Toronto's top law firms—the youngest partner in the company's history. Jude hadn't been prepared for a fun time—she only went because her sister refused to let her sit at home alone that night, claiming that if she did, that's how she would spend the rest of the year. But somehow, happiness found her that night.

Brett was wonderful. Three years older than her, at twenty three he had a bright future ahead of him. First in his class at McGill, he was already working his way up the ladder. He was a breath of fresh air at that party—the only guy who hadn't tried some cheesy line. He'd saved Jude mid-dance with some slime ball whose hands were inching toward her ass. From then on they were inseparable.

A year later, they were together again for New Years, but not by accident. Brett had told her to simply dress warmly, and be ready for dinner at seven. After they ate at a wonderful Italian bistro, a romantic candlelight dinner, complete with champagne, Brett took her out to the park. Completely confused, Jude wasn't really sure what was going on, until she saw a horse drawn carriage pull up, coming to a gentle stop beside them.

As the snow fell around them, leaving a pure white blanket on everything in sight, Jude was taken aback at the beauty of the moment. Gazing around in wonderment as they paused near the lake, she turned to Brett, suddenly noticing he was kneeling before her, on the floor of the carriage.

He asked her to marry him then, at midnight, exactly one year after their first kiss. Jude was overjoyed, she loved Brett, and he loved her, but a part of her couldn't help think of Tommy. For years, she'd always imagined it would be the two of them in that moment. Tommy was supposed to be the one on one knee before her, telling her he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. But she'd quickly pushed those thoughts aside, focusing on what was reality—not some long passed fantasy.

They married a little less than a year later—a fall wedding with their family and close friends. Jude thought about inviting Tommy, even had an invitation set aside with his name, but it was never sent. It still sat in a box in her closet.

Jude realized that if he was there—if she saw him, she didn't know if she would be able to go through with it—if she'd be able to push aside all the feelings she still had for Tom. She was still deliriously happy with Brett—he treated her well, and never once hurt her the way Tommy did, and Brett didn't deserved to be hurt by her.

Jude was shaken from her thoughts back on their four years of marriage, as Tommy's soft voice came through her headphones.

"Hey girl—it's getting late," he said, glancing down at his watch, "It's almost midnight—what do you say we do it a few more times, and then get out of here."

Nodding slowly, still lost in her thoughts, Jude turned back to the microphone listening to the playback as she began to sing the chorus again.

_Not everything is supposed to come true  
Some words are best unsaid  
Some love is not really love at all_

Tommy listened to her angelic voice, hearing it catch slightly as she sang the heart wrenching words—words written about their relationship. His heart broke as he listened to her sing, leaving him feeling wounded as he realized she thought they never really loved each other—that it was all just a farce.

He realized he was mostly to blame—after all, he was the adult, yet he had always expected his teenage crush to understand when he screwed up. He had expected her to be more mature than him. Shaking his head as he cued up the playback for the last time that night, he watched as she sang, wondering for the thousandth time how he could have been so stupid—how he had never told her he loved her.

Tommy knew she was happy, and that she loved Brett. They had the life he had dreamed of having with Jude, but hadn't gotten because of his thoughtless actions. She had loved him, and he took it for granted. He'd crushed her heart—he only had himself to blame for how everything had turned out.

Watching her, unreachable through the glass, he realized he had to tell her. Not for any gain, or for any hope. Just to let her know, that after everything that had happened, he loved her. She at least deserved that.

As the track stopped, Tommy punched a few buttons on the soundboard, leaning over to speak tiredly into the mic, "Okay, that's a wrap."

"Thank God," Jude said, smiling broadly at him as she ripped the headphones off of her head, "I just want to sleep—you're still a slave driver Quincy."

"Not me—Darius is the one who wants this done by New Years Eve for listening booths at the release party," he replied as she walked into the control room, running a hand through his messy brown hair, "Believe me, I'd rather not be stuck in the studios on Christmas Eve."

He smiled as her beautiful laugh filled the room.

"So tell me," she said teasingly, "What would Little Tommy Q rather be doing on Christmas eve—unwrapping a girl?"

Taken aback, Tom couldn't believe she thought that of him. That he was still the same playboy—new girl every night. He hadn't had a relationship of any kind since he met her. Sure he'd dated—but it was few and far between, and never serious. None of them ever compared to Jude.

Noticing his furrowed brow, the discontent look on his face, Jude walked cautiously over to Tommy, gently laying a hand on his arm before speaking.

"Hey, she said, "Lighten up—I was just kidding."

Looking down into her searching eyes, he softly replied, "I know."

Removing her hand as he quickly looked away, Jude spoke again, trying to compensate for whatever had just happened.

"So what are you really doing for Christmas Eve?" she asked, genuinely curious.

"I didn't really have anything planned," Tommy replied, glancing down at the floor before going on, his gazed fixed on the pattern in the tile, "Kwest and Sadie are at your Mom's house for the holiday's, and there isn't really anyone else I'd spend the holidays with."

Looking at his saddened face, Jude's heart went out to him. She never wanted him to end up this way. She always thought he would have moved on eventually, if not soon after she told him it was all finally over. She never thought she had broken his heart as well.

"There's no one else for you to celebrate with?" she asked softly, watching as he blinked back tears.

"No," he said simply, "I lost everyone I ever really cared about eight years ago."

Unsure of how to respond, Jude could only stare, her breath catching in her throat as she watched a stream of emotions flow across his face, his glistening blue eyes staring right into hers.

Tommy cleared his throat, choking back the tears that welled in his eyes, finally realizing what he was left with—nothing. His inability to express his love for her eight years ago had led him to nothing, to an empty existence. After realizing what he'd done to her, he didn't allow himself to get close to anyone, for fear of breaking them the way he broke her. Now, on Christmas Eve, he finally had to set things right, and make up for what he had done as best he could.

"Jude, I'm sorry," he said, pausing to gather his thoughts before going on, "I'm sorry for everything that happened."

Jude opened her mouth, shocked at what was happening, but no words came out. She never expected this—she never expected Tommy to own up to what she had done. Thoughts racing through her head, she began to speak only to be cut off by the broken man before her.

"Tommy-" she whispered, unsure of what to say.

"No," he said firmly, his voice wavering as he went on, eyes locked on hers, "It was all my fault. I broke your heart. I messed everything up for us, and I'm so sorry for that."

Pausing to take a deep breath, he went on before she could respond.

"I loved you Jude," he said softly, his hand reaching out for hers, gently squeezing it as it slipped into his grasp, "You have to know that. No matter how it seemed, I loved you."

Jude stared at their joined hands tears welling in her eyes as she listened to him speak words she never thought he'd say. Feeling his fingers slip softly under her chin, she raised her head, her eyes meeting his as he went on.

"I still love you," he said softly, his voice breaking, "I never stopped, and never will."

Squeezing her hand one last time before breaking their connection, he finished, his eyes finally looking away from hers, returning to the tile.

"I don't expect anything from you Jude," he spoke, his voice sincere, "I just—just listening to you sing that song tonight over and over, I realized I needed you to know that it was love—it was always love."

With that, he began to turn away from her, back toward the soundboard, but he was stopped by her hand, firmly grasping at his. Shocked, he felt everything move in slow motion as she moved closer, her lips meeting his in a chaste kiss. It was over as soon as it started, but to him, it felt like a lifetime.

Watching her, confused as she pulled back, he felt her arms wrap around his neck, pulling him into a hug. Her soft breath on his neck sent shivers down his spine.

"I will always love you Tommy," Jude whispered softly into his ear, "Always."

With those words, she placed a gentle kiss on his cheek before pulling away. Tommy watched, speechless, as she turned quickly, trying to hide the tears that had built in her eyes, slipping out of his embrace, and disappearing through the doorway.

Glancing at his watch, seeing that it was two past twelve, he whispered softly into the deafening silence, "Merry Christmas, Jude."

As he turned back to the soundboard, settling into his chair before picking up his headphones, Tommy realized that nothing was going to happen. He realized that nothing would be very different in the morning—Jude was married, and nothing was going to alter that, but maybe now things would be better.  
_  
I'll keep everything I shared with you  
And that's enough  
There's us_

Smiling as he listened to the end of the song, Tommy was truly happy. He and Jude would always have their past, both the good times and the bad, but hopefully they could have a future full of friendship, and make more good memories as they went.

'It is enough,' he thought to himself as he moved through the room, shutting off the lights before leaving the studios, 'It's enough."

_There's us_


End file.
